Captain Communication Skills, part 1 | November 19, 2008 at 6:16 p.m.

 TITLE

Captain Communication Skills

 

SETTING

Orion's room

 

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at 6:16 p.m.

 

DRAKE

I'm here.

 

ILLYBRIUS

How did it go?

 

DRAKE

I can't get past the barrier. See if you can get him to let at least Orion and Caleb go.

 

ILLYBRIUS

How do I do that?

 

DRAKE

Last night you pissed him off. See if you can make him mad again. Maybe it will work.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Very well, but if it doesn't—

 

DRAKE

My life I know.

 

ILLYBRIUS

He needs to take care of something. He said he'll be right back. Damn. I don't suppose a repeat performance would--?

 

DRAKE?

At this point I don't think so. However if you can… Can Enon act?

 

ILLYBRIUS

Enon is too busy following my Usagi around and trying to bone him.

 

CIN

Well there's your answer, genius. Get Usagi to lead him here.

 

DRAKE

Or ask Usagi to ask him a favor. Maybe Enon will go for that.

 

ILLYBRIUS

If this fails, Larlia will have my head.

 

DRAKE

If Enon can scream and act it will be fine. If not tell her to take things up with me.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Scream and—What are you thinking?

 

DRAKE

Well… We give him what he wants. The White One "raped".

 

ILLYBRIUS

And killed. It's that last part Larlia will dislike.

 

DRAKE

He can pretend. And you can say you want the honors. Just make sure you explain to Enon to play along.

 

ILLYBRIUS

He trusts me as little as a mouse trusts a snake.

 

DRAKE

THEN TELL HIM TO TRUST ME!

 

(All flinch.)

 

ILLYBRIUS

We got it.

 

DRAKE

Good.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Now he wants me to choose between—I'll just flip a coin.

 

DRAKE

Ask him for two.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Two what?

 

DRAKE

Ask him for Orion and Caleb. Trust me.

 

ILLYBRIUS

He's asking for the violation and death of Enon. Violation I can do, but death—

 

DRAKE

Left a bottle in your room. Black yew and lotus petals. It will make him seem like he's death for a few hours.

 

EVRYN

It will make him seem like he's dead or seem like he's Death? There is a distinction, you know.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I'll send Cinnamon for it. She's allowed temporary access to Celestia for the time being.

 

NATHANIEL

Isn't she the Queen? Why is she only allowed there temporarily?

 

EVRYN

She was betrayed and banished by her elder half-sisters.

 

DRAKE

It's the only thing I could make on such short notice what with Corri in a Crystal for now.

 

NATHANIEL

Tell her to get out of bed with her girlfriend and come be useful!

 

EVRYN

Oh, honey.

 

ILLYBRIUS

We're only in trouble on days ending in Y.

 

DRAKE

Ain't that the truth.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I think I want to go on the previous track of just pissing him off.

 

DRAKE

Piss him off as you do it. I'll slip in and see what I can do to fix things. All you are is a distraction Your Lordship.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Can I piss him off now and then "rape" the albino?

 

DRAKE

Best ask him how soon he needs it done.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Hmmm. Unfortunately, I really don't want to touch that mutt.

 

DRAKE

Do you want them back or not?

 

ILLYBRIUS

I'll have to think about it. I love Maheone, I do, but there are some things—

 

DRAKE

I hate you. I'm only doing this for my sister.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I couldn't give a rat's ass. Rescue your sister and her son, then.

 

DRAKE

She would never forgive me. She loves you and therefore I owe you.

 

ILLYBRIUS

You owe me nothing.

 

DRAKE

You could have killed me. Instead you let me live. I owe you.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Just get them out. Steal them from under his nose if you must. I just want to bring Maheone out.

 

DRAKE

Trust me. After I get them we're gone. Promise.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Just get them. I don't plan to touch Enon.

 

DRAKE

Like I said just tell him but don't actually do it.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I'm going to do what I did last night.

 

DRAKE

Good. I'll grab Orion for you first then Caleb.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Thank you.

 

DRAKE

Just do it.

 

TOD

Manners wouldn't go amiss from you, you know.

 

DRAKE

It's slipping.

 

ILLYBRIUS

WHAT'S SLIPPING?

 

DRAKE

The barrier.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Is that good?

 

DRAKE

Yes. It means he isn't focusing on keeping me out.

 

CIN

Caleb's in Obsidian.

 

DRAKE

What?

 

CIN

I cryogenised him and teleported him to my room. He's safe.

 

DRAKE

ARE YOU STUPID?

 

CIN

Uh… yes?

 

EVRYN

Clearly. You thought you could help instead of leaving everything to the Corri Sues. How dare you.

 

DRAKE

Damn it all!

 

CIN

Relax, I'll bring him back.

 

DRAKE

A bit late for that.

 

ILLYBRIUS

So I noticed. Still, just because he doesn't wish to speak to me doesn't mean I'm not still inside him.

 

DRAKE

Yes but I can't get in now because of that bitch—

 

SERLEINA

ARF!

 

DRAKE

—and he still has Orion. Are you happy?

 

ILLYBRIUS

Yes. I have Maheone—or his body, anyway—bound to me. Though I admit, having Orion would make me happier.

 

DRAKE

Blame your stupid woman. I would have had him here and safe if she hadn't interfered.

 

EVRYN

How is having him here and safe functionally different from having him in the Obsidian Mansion and safe?

 

ILLYBRIUS

She's not mine to blame.

 

DRAKE

If he kills them then blame her then.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I don't see why one couldn't merely cryogenise Orion and get him here, as Cinnamon did Caleb.

 

DRAKE

I was planning on getting them out then trying to see if I could fix things then she had to jump in.

 

EVRYN

Which you communicated to no-one.

 

DRAKE

I had a spell to try. I said you were a distraction and to trust me.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Here's the thing: I don't. I don't know you well enough, and you've made it clear that you despise me.

 

DRAKE

However for my sister I am willing to die again.

 

EVRYN

Yes, please.

 

DRAKE

Because you make her happy for some stupid reason I figured I would do anything to see her happy for once in her life. Even if it meant helping you.

 

ILLYBRIUS

How reassuring. I have no idea why she likes me as she does, if you must know. Suddenly being a part of something is difficult. I'm accustomed to operating alone and on my own terms.