TITLE
This Thing Called Op-Di-Mi-Sium
November 16, 2008 (2014) | 11:04 PM
DROSSEL
Hey, sorry I
bugged earlier.
SIGYN
Mhm, it's
okay.
DROSSEL
Just a lot
going on.
SIGYN
I know.
DROSSEL
If I had,
like, 1,000 debt it would be way different.
SIGYN
I know. I don't
have debt, but I also can't take out loans or anything like that. Also, Meta's
pretty picky about how we spend my money.
EVRYN
Maybe he
should make some of his own money to spend. Not on Drossel and Conny, of
course.
[exit DROSSEL, enter CONNY]
CONNY
Hey.
SIGYN
Hey.
CONNY
Can I vent?
SIGYN
Yes.
CONNY
I'm stressed
and I don't know what to do.
SIGYN
Okay.
CONNY
I don't know
if I need to leave Drossel.
SIGYN
He loves
you. He's devoted to you. Could you really turn your back on that?
CONNY
It's the
military thing. There's a lot on me. And pressure, they won't let him go until
we pay our debt and we're screwed. I'm trying to find loans, we just have to
get proof of it, and the military helps us plan the payoff and help us, so it's
mostly my fault.
SIGYN
My friend
Reiya was a captain in the Marines.
Her spouse
was completely faithful to her even though she was gone a lot.
Men like he
and Drossel, who would do anything for their woman, are very rare.
I would
advise you to hold onto him even if you don't like his career choice.
CONNY
I know he
would. But I feel like I'm the problem. It's a big issue and it's my fault and
boot camp is hard on both of us.
EVRYN
Oh yes, I
can see how this is an incredibly difficult situation for you. Selfish
cunt.
SIGYN
Why would
you leave him though? I would kill for the kind of endless devotion he shows
you
CONNY
I know.
Lately, the distance is making us fight and stuff: the stress, we're worried
about Emmit, I've been in the hospitals, I have surgery this week.
He needs to
start ASAP and they won't take him with his debt.
So we're
stressed about a lot and we fight about stuff a lot.
SIGYN
Try not to
fight.
You have a
good, solid man.
He's afraid
you won't be with him anymore if he joins the military.
I think he
should get a seasonal job, just until January, so you can pay off those bills.
He says he's
tried, but there are lots of places still hiring.
Also,
fighting is stressful.
Meta and I
fight and I always feel sad and empty afterwards.
CONNY
He has to
pay them by December 5th, he can't get a job because he's leaving, we're 38
thousand in debt.
If we got it
to about 3 grand, they will let him go.
He's leaving
December 8th.
He won't be
here for Emmit to be born, nothing, we're in a bad place.
SIGYN
I see.
CONNY
Yeah, nobody
can help, if we don't pay, he has to wait till March, we're gonna be on the
streets with a newborn.
EVRYN
I know a guy
who can set you up with a nice box.
SIGYN
Forgive me,
but this seems rather irresponsible.
I get that
you were trying to do the right thing, but babies take a lot of money and
effort.
You're both
too financially unstable to have a child and you have so much drama going on in
your personal lives.
Is that really what you want to raise a baby
with?
CONNY
We had no
real choice.
We're kinda
obligated.
It's a long story.
And we will only have him 8 months.
SIGYN
Then I hope
you can make the most of it.
CONNY
We will, it's
just a bad spot.
And we need him to go to boot camp ASAP, and that's
not happening cause my stupid ass has got sick, and I'm having emergency
surgery.
If he leaves
the 8th, we live in a place on base, paid expenses until he's back and gets a
stable check.
SIGYN
Do you
really think it's your fault you got sick?
CONNY
Yes, I feel
like it is, I was the one in the hospital for a long time and ran a bill up. I
tried not to go cause I have no insurance, but I had to, I was too sick.
EVRYN
You could
have done the noble thing and just stayed home and died. You would have been
less of a burden that way.
SIGYN
You didn't
get sick on purpose just to cause trouble though.
And I'm sure
you can get a voucher or something to decrease the hospital bill.
I know
Valley Med offers that service.
Which
hospital did you go to?
CONNY
Fresno
Community.
I know, I was so sick I was randomly fainting
and couldn't function.
We already got as much discount things as
possible.
Aver my
surgery were 29780.
EVRYN
What the
bloody hell is that disaster of a sentence supposed to mean?
SIGYN
If it's a
community hospital, they should be able to offer something like a decreased
payment plan or a voucher.
CONNY
We tried,
but because my mom technically still has work, it won't refuse any more, I was
going to owe 78 grand after my surgery.
SIGYN
I can't
imagine even having that money, let alone owing it
CONNY
I know, so it's
reduced significantly.
But it can't go anymore.
And it's not the hospital's issue, it's the
military we are worried on.
If we don't
pay it, he has to wait, and that's not an option.
They said if it was 4,000 or below, it wouldn't
be an issue, if we can at least pay 35 off or get a loan, the military has to
get proof we owe, and will help us pay it in under a year.
When he gets
his signing bonus, we will give it all to whoever helped, you know?
SIGYN
I know.
CONNY
I just need
one hope and it's hard, he has no family
EVRYN
Yes, he
does! He has a brother and a Nana!
CONNY
My family is
broke, living paycheck to paycheck.
SIGYN
Meta and I
are the same way. Broke and living paycheck to paycheck.
CONNY
Yeah, it's
really hard, and we're fighting, and then to make it worse, if he don't get in
the military, on the 8th, we are fucked.
SIGYN
Then I
suggest he do whatever he can to raise money on his own if no one can help him
CONNY
We have
tried, no job will hire cause he will leave abruptly. I sold my great-grandma's
pendant from the 30s that she gave on her deathbed for 5 and paid some off, but
we still need help.
SIGYN
He doesn't
have to tell them he plans to leave soon at the interview, though.
I only plan
to work until Meta and I are ready to move out of state.
I certainly didn't
tell my employer that, because I needed the money.
CONNY
No, it shows
up on his background about the military, he has to tell them, his boss said he
has to.
SIGYN
Then I guess
he has to decide how committed he is to raising that money.
At this point I don't think anyone can do
anything for him.
I mean, he has been asking for weeks.
CONNY
I know, and
the bad part is, his friend from high school has a rich-as-fuck aunt and he won't
ask and explain the situation—
EVRYN
WAIT A HOT
DAMN SECOND. And yet he's pressuring the Audience into asking her great-uncle?
CONNY
They been
friends since kindergarten.
Like, it pisses him off, even though it knocks
their pride if some can ask people they know and explain the situation.
SIGYN
And yet he
tried repeatedly to ask me to hit up my great-uncle, who dislikes me, for
money.
EVRYN
As I pointed
out.
SIGYN
Uh. I think
he should go with his friends' aunt.
CONNY
No, he has
no way to ask, and his friend blocked him cause they got in it cause his
friends won't ask. Cause of me.
And I know you may not want to, but can't you
explain to your great-uncle and try, like explain the issue?
EVRYN
Oh my god,
you are such pieces of shit.
SIGYN
I have said
no, and I will continue to say no.
EVRYN
And rather
than continue to push her, you should respect that and back the fuck off.
SIGYN
My
great-uncle is very conservative and does not like me enough to support
acquaintances from school.
EVRYN
Even if he wasn't
very conservative and liked her better, it would still be a bit much to ask.
SIGYN
The only
person they would help on my behalf is Meta, and as I explained to Drossel, I
am not comfortable lying and saying it's for Meta's sake when it isn't.
CONNY
Wow. I think
with the circumstance you could try and lie.
EVRYN
Wow. I think
you're a pushy asshole.
CONNY
It's like
dire stuff, I would do it for you in a heartbeat.
EVRYN
Bloody prove
it.
CONNY
We can pay
it in 3 months after he starts.
SIGYN
I am not
comfortable lying.
CONNY
Well, could
you think of another way to try—
EVRYN
FUCK THE
FUCKING FUCK OFF, FUCKFACE! Damn.
CONNY
Like, this
is our livelihood. We have no choice with Emmit, we're by law obligated.
EVRYN
And that's a
steaming pile of shit.
SIGYN
I have made
several suggestions which you have said won't work. I can't think of anything
else. I need to prepare for my own future, and Meta's, and our future family's.
CONNY
Well, if you
could think of a way to ask your family, I would be through the roof. I'm in a
hard spot, Drossel's in a harder spot.
EVRYN
Go to Hell.
Seriously. All of them. Right now.
SIGYN
My family
has no money either, except that one great-uncle, and my in-laws, and they don't
like me.
I'm not asking people who don't like me for
money.
EVRYN
Actually, I
think you should ask Drepanon to help Conny. It would be funny. Erm, Drepanon
the Demon King of Gä'Auth, that is, not Drepanon the Cunty Tech Magnate.
SERLEINA
Or she could
ask Akuma. Akuma the Angel Princess of Remirum or Akuma the Whiny Damsel,
either way, it would be hilarious!
SIGYN
Not unless
he asks his friends' aunt. Also, Meta is
usually the one who decides how we spend our money.
EVRYN
Despite the
fact that he doesn't bloody well earn any of it. Yeah, that seems totally fair.
SIGYN
But I doubt he'd
be able to help, either. I have a boyfriend to take care of, plus Serleina's sister's
college fund.
SERLEINA
She lost a bet.
SIGYN
I cannot
help you. I hope you find someone who can.
CONNY
I have my
son and Emmit, I have Drossel and some stuff, so thanks for bashing hopes.
EVRYN
It's your
own fault for getting your unrealistic hopes up in the first place. Fuck your
guilt trip.
SIGYN
I have not
bashed anything. I do not know why you thought you could put hope in someone as
poor as you are.
CONNY
It's called
faith. I just left Drossel, so yeah, hope your life does good, it's not like
you deal with what I do.
EVRYN
Can we punch
her in the fa—
SERLEINA (voicing over an Unsound)
FACE PUUUUNCH!
Conny now has a bloody nose for the remainder of the scene.
SIGYN
I have dealt
with more, I assure you. As I said, you can talk to Meta about it if you think he'll
let me do it.
EVRYN
That is
fucked up on so many levels.
SIGYN
What happens
between you and Drossel and Emmit is not up to me.
It's in God's hands.
You should put your faith in Him, not in me.
I am not in
a position to help.
CONNY
Meta don't
have me on Facebook. He don't even know who I am, I don't think.
SIGYN
He knows
Drossel.
CONNY
I have two
kids. A former husband. I have a therapy dog. And I have to take care of my
sister cause she's physically incapable.
EVRYN
And I'll bet
she has a goddamn partridge in a pear tree, too.
CONNY
Then let's
give him my number, let's try. What am I supposed to say?
SIGYN
I was
suggesting that you have Drossel talk to him, actually, since they go to school
together. That would be the more logical solution.
CONNY
Well, I was
in the hospital, so my brain isn't right. Too much stress.
SIGYN
Okay. Then
stop stressing yourself out with this and trust that God will help you. I am
not capable of it. I have no money.
CONNY
Check
Facebook cause everyone is saying Drossel is tripping.
EVRYN
That's a
bloody awful diversion tactic.
[exit CONNY, enter DROSSEL]
DROSSEL
I don't know
what you told Conny, but she just left me. Whatever you did, you made my wife
leave.
SIGYN
I didn't
make her do anything. In fact, I specifically told her to hold onto you.
DROSSEL
Ok. I don't
know what to do.
SIGYN
What I have
is an elderly great-uncle I stayed home and took care of until they cut his
retirement and I had to go to Job Corps to find work;
one younger
relative with a father who is never around;
two relatives who can't work because of their
disabilities;
one relative who can't seem to keep a job and
is bouncing from couch to couch;
a boyfriend who's
still in trade school;
and a
minimum wage job that can't support just me, let alone everyone living under my
roof whom I am ACTUALLY responsible for.
I don't have
money.
I can't help
you.
I did not "dash
your hopes", because you had no reason to put any hope on me in the first
place.
CONNY
I have this
thing called Op-Di-Mi-Sium
EVRYN
Whatever the
fuck that is.
SIGYN
And I have
this thing called a high school education. And also realism. If you want my
help, Drossel will have to get Meta's approval. But that shouldn't be a problem
right?
CONNY
As long as
you know he has issues speaking to people face to face, he has Asperger's, he
gets anxiety.
SIGYN
I have Asperger's
and social anxiety, too.
EVRYN
So does
almost bloody everyone on the production team and at least a quarter of the
cast. It isn't exactly a rare disorder.
CONNY
He freaks
out when talking to people, when he talked to me the first time he cried like a
baby.
EVRYN
Really?
Because I never noticed him having problems talking to anyone, ever.
SIGYN
Hey Conny?
How much is your engagement ring worth?
CONNY
It got
stolen.
SIGYN
Damn. That's
bad luck.
EVRYN
You know, I
know someone who could help. I've got this friend Vaan. He can put you to work
and get you some easy money in no time!
No comments:
Post a Comment