TITLE
Wang, wang, wang, part 3
SETTING
Japantown, California
[Tue, Nov 18, 2008;
[TIME: 10.00 PM]
EVRYN
Epiphany,
where were you?
EPIPHANY
I was
wurning the beeaboo.
EVRYN
But you
didn't return and I thought Britney took you down to Hell with him, or was that
about Akuma?
EPIPHANY
[ I haven't been to Hell in YEARS. It's too noisy
there to get any real work done.]
OVD
CONTINUING from where we left off last time....
ORION
I said all
of us!
EVRYN
Yes, but
first you said "you people", like a racist little shit.
ILLYBRIUS
He says if I
fuck Enon he'll let one go.
EPIPHANY
[No, he wants you to rape Enon. Rape is not sex.]
SIGYN AND
ORION
How now?
EPIPHANY
[Some of my off-set Adults say so.]
XALDIN
[WE say so, too.]
SIGYN and ORION have confused looks on their faces.
ILLYBRIUS
Call me
crazy, but no fucking way.
ORION
Then have
Usagi do it!
ILLYBRIUS
Even less of
a chance of that. Besides, how do I know he'll keep his word?
ORION
Ask to Cilg
Rutan.
ILLYBRIUS
Huh?
ORION
It's a blood
promise. Can't be broken.
EVRYN
So basically
it's the Unbreakable Vow.
ILLYBRIUS
Apparently
he dislikes it when I call him Prettyboy.
CIN
Try Ponyboy.
ILLYBRIUS,
^_^
I'm pissing
him off rather quickly!
ORION
Oh boy.
ILLYBRIUS: 😀
ORION
I wonder
about you.
EPIPHANY
[OVD, why
do we have to listen to Berserker's rape commentary?]
OVD
Because our jobs SUCK.
ILLYBRIUS grins
He's really
tight.
ORION
Good to know.
ILLYBRIUS, 😀
He's
adamantly saying that he is not mine!
ORION
Also good, I
guess.
ILLYBRIUS,
^_^
I suppose.
ORION
I guess.
ILLYBRIUS
Or not. What
does "encule" mean?
ORION
He's, well, that's
not true.
ILLYBRIUS
Good, but
tell me anyway.
ORION
You are not
a eunuch.
FREDDIE
Okay but if
he's actively stuffing his—
EVRYN
YES WE KNOW
IT MAKES NO SENSE.
SIGYN
Well, as we
know and as Serena pointed out earlier, "encule" is also French for
"bastard". Which probably is true.
ILLYBRIUS
Do you know
why I like pissing him off?
ORION
Why Kio?
ILLYBRIUS
It makes him
lose control.
SIGYN
I know,
right?
EPIPHANY
[Thanks for confirming you run on Rapist Logic.]
ILLYBRIUS
AND SIGYN
You're
welcome~
ORION
Good.
EPIPHANY
[Well, he's Onion. Of course he said that.]
ILLYBRIUS
Yes. So when
he yells, it's good.
ORION
Go for it,
Kio. Piss him off!
CIN
I have faith
in you, Lee-Bee. There is NOBODY you cannot piss off.
ILLYBRIUS
Thanks! I
love you two!
EVRYN takes a shot
ORION, ^_^
ILLYBRIUS and ORION kiss
ILLYBRIUS
I knew you
enjoyed it.
ORION
That I do.
ILLYBRIUS
SHIT SHIT
SHIT!
EPIPHANY
[Sounds
like Corri didn't like that you weren't worrying enough]
EVRYN
Maybe he's just warning you that he has diarrhoea?
EPIPHANY
[Oh, is
the magically-contagious monkshood poisoning back?]
EVRYN
Just in the cooler water.
SERLEINA
In TOTALLY UNRELATED news, someone who's TOTALLY NOT ME replaced the purified water in the water bottles with cooler
water and put them on the snack table.
EPIPHANY
[ I thought you said you didn't go anywhere near
the cooler because of the wolfsbane!]
SERLEINA
That's why it's
TOTALLY NOT ME! WEREN'T YOU LISTENING? DAMMIT, EPIPHANY, IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT
YOU DON'T READ THE SUBTITLES, BUT NOW THIS? DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME TWENTY!
EPIPHANY
[Did you just Drepanon me?]
SERLEINA
What can I say, I grew up with that shit.
NOW FOR THE PUSHUPS! ONE! DON'T YOU FEEL DUMB! TWO! LOOK AT YOU!
EPIPHANY
[Rigour mortis says, "Fuck you."]
SERLEINA
... Tempting, but I'll pass.
XALDIN holds out his hand.
SERLEINA ponies up.
SERLEINA
I was talking about the
RIGOR MORTIS, DUHHHH.
XALDIN
[And who has the rigor mortis on this set?]
SERLEINA
... Just wait.
XALDIN, Santa Claus scowl, holds out his hand.
SERLEINA shakes his hand.
SERLEINA
Hi, I'm Serleina! Nice to meet you!
***(Roll a D6 for if she gets a pass
for sass when doing the final edit)
ORION
What?
SERLEINA, slowly
I introduced myself.
ORION
Damn. Don't
worry.
SERLEINA
Why would I worry? It's not like you have a
Death Note, or like you could spell my name. Also, I'm not the one who eats
everything on the snack table.
ORION
I will find
them. Promise.
ILLYBRIUS
Shitshitshit,
I'm running out of time!
ORION
I know! I
will handle it from here! I promise!
ILLYBRIUS
Merci! Hurry
please.
ORION
I am. I have
a lock on them now. As soon as you're
gone I'm going after them. I love you Illybrius.
EVRYN takes a shot.
ILLYBRIUS
GO AFTER
THEM NOW! I'M LEAVING SOON! YOU NEED TO BE THERE!
ORION
I KNOW!
Gone, Kio.
[exit ORION]
EPIPHANY
[Can we
go home now?]
OVD
Yes. That's the last script for November 18th.
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