Note: This script may require editing to stay consistent with
previous scripts.
TITLE
Audience Approval
SETTING
Illybrius's room
Sun, Nov 23, 2008; 6.40 PM
ORION
Hello Pet.
EPIPHANY zaps Orion
ILLYBRIUS
What the
fuck happened?
EPIPHANY
[He said The Word.]
ILLYBRIUS
I mean
besides that.
ORION
A fight.
Over Maheone taking something he had no right to according to Akuma.
EPIPHANY
[>Implying Akuma makes decisions]
ILLYBRIUS
That
something being?
AKUMA
He had my
family's focus gems.
ILLYBRIUS
I'd like
details, if possible. Vagueness pisses me off right now.
EPIPHANY
[But then Corri has to actually come up with
details.]
AKUMA
He took them
from their bodies and kept them.
ILLYBRIUS
I see.
FLUOU THE
TRANSLATION GUY
[Translation: That makes no fucking sense.]
EPIPHANY
[ I never said they were GOOD details.]
AKUMA
He had no
right, which is why I was in his room last night.
ILLYBRIUS
Please do
not make me exclude your aura from the barrier. We are sensitive to intruders.
AKUMA
Them
belonged to me.
EVRYN
Your writer
really cannot words, can she?
DREPANON
I thought it
sounded okay.
DROSSEL
Yeah, me
too!
AKUMA
He had no
right to keep them. It would be like taking Usagi and screwing him without your
permission.
ILLYBRIUS
…
EPIPHANY
[...]
MARIE
Why did she
go for THAT metaphor? Is she literally incapable of thinking of a DIFFERENT
metaphor?
AKUMA
Fine. I'm
sorry. It won't happen again but just so you know he threw the first punch at
me.
EVRYN
What the
tits?
ILLYBRIUS
I know.
EPIPHANY
[Everyone knows Akuma never starts anything.]
FLUOU THE TRANSLATION GUY bursts out laughing
EVRYN
Okay but
Maheone isn't the type to smack someone else around.
EPIPHANY
[>implying that Corri gives a fuck about
Maheone's characterization.]
AKUMA
I'll leave
the two of you alone now.
ILLYBRIUS
Please do
not enter the Temple again. In fact, please do not try to enter Celestia again.
EVRYN
You just got
banhammered, bitch!
SERLEINA
Warf.
AKUMA
I
understand. I'll obey.
EPIPHANY
[At least until Corri finds it inconvenient.]
ILLYBRIUS
Have a nice
night.
EVRYN
And go make
me a sandwich.
AKUMA
Nive
Aishiteru Illybrius Falcon.
EPIPHANY
[Fun fact: "ai shiteru" is basically the
most awkward, unnatural-sounding way possible to say "I love you" in
Japanese.]
["Ai"-love is different from
"koi"-love. If you are at the "ai"-love level with someone,
you don't need to say it like that, because they already know. You can just say
"suki (da) yo".]
[She's also contradicting all the times she's used
a corrupted form of "koibito".]
EVRYN
I thought
she was just a dendrophilliac.
[exit AKUMA]
ORION
She's gone
Pet.
EPIPHANY zaps Orion
EVRYN
She's gone
what?
ORION
No. I am not
redoing that line. I don't care about your fucking commas.
EVRYN
I'm hoping
that eventually you'll stop saying The Word altogether.
ILLYBRIUS
Very well. I've
not known Maheone to be violent.
EVRYN
Does no-one
listen to my spoilers?
OVD
The main cast is contractually obligated to ignore them.
EVRYN
Then why do
you keep grousing at me for saying them?
OVD
Because the audience is not! Unless the episode is ABOUT an
Audience member!
ORION
She told him
that the gems were not his to take and she took them to put with her family's
crypts and he said she was being a fool and losing you. Just like he did.
EVRYN
Why the fuck
were her focus gems not with her family's crypts to begin with?
MARIE
Does this
mean Fake Maheone is a graverobber?
CIN
🎵Graverobber, Graverobber
Sometimes I
wonder why I even bother🎵
MARIE
I walked
right into that one.
CIN
🎵Graverobber, Graverobber
Sometimes I
wonder why I NEED YOU AT ALL! 🎵
DREPANON
And Amber
Sweet is addicted to the knife.
SERLEINA
Addicted to the knife?
DREPANON
Did I
fucking stutter?
SERLEINA
... You only know that song through memes, don't you?
DREPANON
At least I
read the SUBTITLES.
SERLEINA
NO ONE NEEDS SUBTITLES WITH I, SERLEINA!
ILLYBRIUS
She had no
right to snoop. Mightn't they have settled it civilly?
EPIPHANY
[You do realise this is CORRI writing their
actions, right?]
REIYA
I don't
think Corri would know civility if it smacked her upside the head with
Désmoda's frying pan
ORION
He told her
where to find them and that she could have them.
EPIPHANY
[Then why did he take them in the first place?
This isn't very well-thought-out.]
ORION
So she took
them back since they are hers. It was as she was leaving that she said she
wouldn't lose you like he did that he slapped her.
EVRYN
In that
case, I'd say she deserved it. But,
also, the real Maheone would never get violent over something that petty.
ILLYBRIUS
Ori, I don't
want to cause any pain, but I need to be absolutely sure she'll never know what
I'm about to say before I say it.
ORION
I swear on
my life she will never find out from me.
EVRYN
But you're
undead. (He's not cool enough to be previously living.)
EPIPHANY
[She'll find out from the Corri HiveMind™]
ILLYBRIUS
Oh, this isn't
any easier the third time around!
ORION
You don't
care for her do you?
EPIPHANY
[How do you get that from "this isn't any
easier the third time around"?]
EVRYN
Orion
probably doesn't WANT him to care for her, because Orion wants Berserker all to
himself.
ILLYBRIUS
I do, but
differently.
ORION
She is
nothing more than like a sister of a close friend … … …
OVD
Read the rest of your line!
ORION
But the cue
card has a comma!
OVD
You don't pause THAT LONG for a comma!
JEPH
[And this is why I don't normally correct the script.]
ORION
Am I right?
EVRYN
Never. Also,
hasn't Illybrius fucked her?
ILLYBRIUS
Mind your
own business!
DREPANON
How's your
memory? No-one does that on this show.
ILLYBRIUS
I have to go
for the moment. I'll be back in 43 minutes.
ORION
Very well.
By then I'm sure things will have settled here.
EVRYN
Despite the
fact that, as usual, nothing is happening except you two yammering at each
other.
ILLYBRIUS and ORION kiss
ORION
Go on Pet.
EPIPHANY zaps Orion
FLUOU smacks Orion with the Grammar Hammer
ORION
What was
that for?
FLUOU
This is the
Grammar Hammer. I'm going to hit you with it every time you neglect a comma.
ORION
But that's
not my fault!
FLUOU
That's not
my problem.
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