TITLE
Orion's in Trouble
SETTING
Illybrius’s room
Tue, Nov 11, 2008
[TIME: 10.00 PM]
LIGHTS OUT
ILLYBRIUS
Cin, hand me that vibrator.
CINNAMON
Here ya go.
WT
Cinnamon gives Illybrius an
eight-by-two. That's in inches.
ORION
I... what... *whimper*
ILLYBRIUS
Thank you.
WT
Illybrius lubes it up and presses
it into Orion.
Orion gives a scream of pleasure.
Usagi retches over and turns it up to the medium setting, then pulls it
roughly in and out, kissing Illybrius more passionately.
Orion moans and presses down the, the
vibrator.
Illybrius turns it
up to maximum, responding erotically to Orion's moans and Usagi's kissing.
Orion screams in bliss.
REIYA
This is so boring.
SERLEINA
Just imagine Drepanon doing the
cha-cha like a sissy girl.
DREPANON
Or I could aggressively do the
Funky Chicken.
SIGYN
OH, COME ON!
DREPANON
I don't intend to. That's the
point.
SIGYN
What if I ask really nicely?
ORION
Shit, where was I? Uh... Line?
SIGYN
You guys are the worst! I hate
all of you!
DREPANON
Good. Now go away.
OVD
Drepanon, you may not shoo the
Designated Audience.
DREPANON
I know, but do you have to remind
HER? She's been taking advantage of that clause since the first day of this
month!
ORION
I... need... please...
WT
Illybrius rips off his shirt,
pulls back to undo his pants.
ILLYBRIUS
Not yet.
SERLEINA
Why the fuck not?
ILLYBRIUS
PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!
CINNAMON
AND MAKE IT DOUBLE!
SIGYN
Come on, you guys, this isn't
funny!
MARIE
ARE YOU KIDDING, THIS IS
HILARIOUS!
ILLYBRIUS
TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM
DEVASTATION!
CINNAMON
TO UNITE ALL PEOPLES WITHIN OUR
NATION!
ILLYBRIUS
TO STOP THE AUDIENCE FROM
MASTURBATION!
CINNAMON
AND PREVENT ALL FURTHER
JUBILIATION!
ILLYBRIUS
MR. ARM-EATING GOD THINGY!
CINNAMON
THAT OTHER BITCH!
SERLEINA
ME-ARF! THAT'S RIGHT!
ORION
That's not even how it goes. You
said it wrong, stupids.
REIYA
Shut up, Onion.
DREPANON
Yeah, shut up, Onion, before you
get kneecapped.
OVD
Drepanon, Donna Sousse said
you're not allowed to kneecap the junior members of the Demon Mafia anymore.
DREPANON
Dammit.
WT
Illybrius takes over sucking completely, sucking as hard as he can.
SERLEINA
But what else is new?
ILLYBRIUS
Mean.
REIYA
How are you saying that with a
mouth full of demon cock?
ILLYBRIUS
Oh, it's really very, very small.
ORION
Come on, quit it!
REIYA
So do it more, then?
AHRRY
TINY PENIS, TINY PENIS!
REIYA
At least we know who's driving
that obnoxiously loud sports car now.
WT
Orion whimpers in distress.
SERLEINA
I don't blame him, but I also
have no sympathy for him.
WT
Then he screams in pleasure
SERLEINA
for... some reason.
REIYA
He's probably faking it to get
this scene over with quicker.
SIGYN
Yes, it's also an effective
counter-torture method.
ORION
I... please!
ILLYBRIUS
Not yet.
WT
Usagi reaches over to play with
Illybrius. Illybrius gasps and pulls back slightly, allowing Usagi to resume
his position, plays with him too.
CINNAMON
Uhh, "resumes
position"?
SERLEINA
Yeah, what’s the matter? Is it
Cin’s Optometry Exam Hour?
ORION
*whimper* Please...
USAGI
Not yet.
WT
Usagi grabs the back of
Illybrius's head with his free hand and kisses him hard, thrusting into his
hand.
Illybrius squeezes, kisses back passionately,
pushes the vibrator all the way inside Orion.
Orion screams in pleasure.
ORION
I... PLEASE!
WT
Usagi squeezes Orion’s balls hard
and nods.
Orion cums hard several times.
One of the two other bastards gasps and drinks
his half eagerly.
USAGI
Fuck, you taste delicious.
WT
Illybrius sucks any remaining cream out of the
tip, grabs Cinnamon, and snowballs with her.
Cinnamon squeals in surprise and swallows
instead of passing it back to Illybrius.
ILLYBRIUS
Hey!
USAGI
Hey!
AHRRY
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE--
SERLEINA
Not the time, Ahrry.
AHRRY
Aww, but they got to do the Team
Rocket thing.
ORION
You mean, completely FUCKING
BUTCHER the Team Rocket motto.
WT
Orion moans and
"begans" to harden again.
ORION
I do not!
SERLEINA
You WROTE that!
ORION
Oh, yeah. We're still on-stage.
HI, MOM!
SERLEINA
TEXT MESSAGE! She says,
"Could you not?" Oh, here's another one! She would like to remind you
that it is inappropriate to refer to her during a sex scene and that she didn't
raise you that way, you filthy, nasty pervert.
CINNAMON
Can I say my line now?
SERLEINA
Wait, since when do YOU have
lines ever?
CINNAMON
Usagi's right, you DO taste
delicious.
SERLEINA
Hey, leggo my ... uh, leggo.
CINNAMON
Savory.
SERLEINA
Stop licking me, it tickles!
REIYA
OTP!
DREPANON
#Nubile, #Redheads...
CINNAMON
Are you putting this on RedTube?!
DREPANON
Of course I am.
MARIE
Where did you get an
eighteen-year-old cell phone that does video recording?
DREPANON
... Marie, this is a camcorder.
The warranty just ran out, and-- Cinnamon, what are you doing?
ORION
OH GOD NO, NOT AGAIN!
OVD
EVACUATE!
MARIE
She's flooding the studio again,
isn't she?
OUTSIDE - Lights On
ORION has little floaties on his arms.
ILLYBRIUS
At least it was fresh water this time.
SIGYN
Yeah, um, so, OVD and Epiphany had a little "talk"
with me about Epiphany's triggers. And I had to write an apology letter. And
then Epiphany stopped making me pony up for saying things about... well.
DREPANON, wearing a snorkel mask and little web shoes,
carrying Akuma on his back, swims by.
SIGYN
So yeah.
OVD
Okay, but we still have to finish the sex scene. To the
backup studio!
[To the backup studio!]
LIGHTS OUT
ORION
*whimper*
WT
Usagi grabs Orion from behind,
pulls out the vibrator, and inserts himself.
Orion screams in shock and pleasure.
CINNAMON
*laughs drunkenly* Dude, you're
fucking a cookie!
USAGI
It wouldn't be the first time. I
mean, what?
WT
Cinnamon gets on all fours... and
starts doing random yoga poses, like cat-cow!
FALCON
What? I didn't write that.
SERLEINA
Too bad.
ILLYBRIUS
Man-wich?
ORION
Y-y-yes... Lube?
WT
Cinnamon tosses the lube... like a spiral football!
CINNAMON
I'm the stuff-supplier!
WT
Orion lubes and slides in.
ORION
SO... good...
WT
Cinnamon goes in the next room
and washes off the vibrator, leaving the camera running—
SERLEINA
Wait... The camera got destroyed
in the flood!
DREPANON
Both of them.
CINNAMON
Serves you right!
WT
Illybrius bucks and thrusts back
on Orion, crying out in pleasure.
Usagi thrusts in and out of Orion forcefully,
completely missing the point of the "manwich", grabbing Orion's hips
and digging his nails in slightly.
USAGI
Don't worry, I have short nails.
CINNAMON
Presumably, he can FEEL that.
ORION
I... Don't fuck... I've never...
Dear God...
WT
Orion thrusts into Lee and then
back onto Usagi.
AN UNFAMILIAR MALE VOICE
YAR HAR FIDDLE DE DEE, BEING A
PIRATE IS ALRIGHT WITH ME, DO WHAT YOU WANT CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE, YOU ARE A
PIRATE!
OVD
Dreg, you're about two years too
early. What are you even doing here?
DREG
It was worth a shot. Hey, who's
the fluffy-pink-haired--
OVD
OUT.
[exit DREG]
EVRYN
Whoever that was, he sounded HOT.
WT
Usagi rides Orion harder.
USAGI
You're fucking tight for someone
who does it, like, all the time.
ILLYBRIUS
I hope you don't mind...
Cinnamon, get back in here.
CINNAMON
Uh, I've been here... what am I,
invisible?
ORION
Part of being... fuck so good...
Pyric... constant... virgin....
WT
Orion thrusts harder in both
directions.
ORION
So... close...
CINNAMON
Uh, not in the butt, Lee.
ILLYBRIUS
Wasn't going to. Just get over
here!
USAGI
Don't cum yet, Oreo. You feel so
damn good, though, I'm pretty close.
ORION
I... *whimper*
WT
Cinnamon "does what Lee says
and you don't need details so yeah."
SERLEINA
I think that's the best-written
canon line so far in this scene.
WT
Illybrius thrusts hard back and forth, closing
his eyes in bliss.
Orion gives a strangled cry.
USAGI
Damn... Illybrius, can I-- can
I--?
ORION
Please?
WT
Illybrius is about to as well.
ILLYBRIUS
Everybody, go ahead.
WT
Illybrius cries out and shoots
hard.
Orion screams and comes, nearly collapsing.
Usagi tightens his grip on Orion's hips, rides
as hard as he can, and cums powerfully into him.
USAGI
Damn...
ORION
*whimper*
CINNAMON
If all three of you collapse, I
think I'm gonna suffocate. Well, g'night all.
[LIGHTS ON]
CANE ONE
Akuma...
CINNAMON
Well, that killed any chance I had of orgasming tonight. She
told Illybrius she loved him, then left.
USAGI
Shit, we have to go. Goodnight.
ILLYBRIUS
Goodnight, my sweets.
CANE ONE
Goodnight, Everies.
EVRYN
…The fuck?
ILLYBRIUS
We’ll be here tomorrow at the usual time.
CANE ONE
I’ll try to be here. Promise.
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