TITLE
Don't Eat
the Brownies
Wednesday,
November 12, 2008
12:19 PM
BASTION
Dear Sister,
Akuma, I think I felt a bit of what you were going through.
EPIPHANY
[Being so
afraid of having to live with a disability that you'd risk your life for a pointless
operation?]
EVRYN
Besides the
fact that Bastion does have a disability-- which is mental, not physical-- that
sounds exactly like something he would also do.
BASTION
I was in
intense pain this morning, when I was trying to either sleep or wake up. I kept
twisting around in my sleep.
SERLEINA
OH MY HADES,
HE DRANK THE COOLER WATER!
SIGYN
Wait,
Bastion is allergic to Razzlewater?
SERLEINA
Oh, we're
not using that anymore for a while. We don't want you or Cinnamon flooding the
place if one of the demon boys gets an allergic reaction, again.
EPIPHANY
[We've
switched to regular poison.]
EVRYN
For a
sufficiently-inclusive definition of poison.
OVD
I mean, Fred
used shards of lightbulb on his turn, so...
SIGYN
You know,
it’s going to get really confusing that there’s a Fred and a Freddie on
this show.
MARIE
You can tell
she’s Fredrika because she’s not the lighting guy.
FREDRIKA
No, I’m just
the press.
EVRYN
We’re really
walking a fine line.
SIGYN
Why? We have
the Demifiend and Kingdom Hearts canons.
FAUS
And me.
SIGYN
And Faustus
Blackwood. Sort of.
BASTION
But I can
feel you still there.
<Whoever
sings the songs now>
🎵I feel you, Johanna🎵
BASTION
Anytime you
need comfort, you don't even have to ask, I was getting bored without you,
anyway.
EVRYN
Is he
propositioning her?
SIGYN
Didn't he
call her his *sister*? Ew.
EPIPHANY,
spock eyebrow
[ ]
EVRYN
Did you
write that in invisible ink?
EPIPHANY
[No.]
[ I couldn't
think of anything to write.]
LENA
Hear, hear.
SIGYN
That one
wasn't my fault, was it?
EPIPHANY
[ I was
surprised.]
SIGYN
I've
objected to brother-sister incest before.
EPIPHANY
[Still,
though.]
SIGYN
Yeah, no, I
strongly object to sibling incest and bio!parent-child. That's just fucked-up.
EVRYN
Well, if
YOU'RE saying so, then I suppose.
BASTION
She’s fine, we’re
both okay, eagerly awaiting your return.
I don't care
if you’re not yourself, I miss you.
EPIPHANY
[ If you
don't care if she's not herself, then who are you missing?]
BASTION
And I will
take care of Corri for you, you don't even have to worry about it.
I tell you,
we have a very caring sister here.
We hope you
come back soon, and we wish you well in your final recovery process.
EPIPHANY
[your
recovery process, from your unnecessary surgery, that wouldn't even fix the
thing you claim to need fixed.]
EVRYN
Well, Akuma
does need to be fixed, but that's not how I'd go about it.
BASTION
We love you,
sis!
EVRYN takes
a shot
BASTION
And when you
do get back, I have to tell you something!
It's nothing
bad, just something you should know.
EVRYN
She's
standing right the fuck there, dude.
MARIE
Maybe he’s
trying to motivate her to not die.
FAUS
Why, though?
BASTION
I'll see you
around, sis!
ROSEMARY
Meep, meep,
I'm a sheep.
AHRRY
But what
does the fox say?
SERLEINA
*screeches!*
EPIPHANY
[Well,
that's not far off.]
BASTION
I'm
confident that you'll make it, you're strong!
EVRYN
Compared to
what, a noodle?
EPIPHANY
[Maybe he's
talking about her plot]
[nonplot
armour.]
BASTION
Also, I
believe Travis said that line when Akuma (not you, the other one) planned to
bring him back from the dead. In the Pride Lands. Brownies please! XD
SERLEINA
DON’T EAT
THE BROWNIES! THEY’RE LACED WITH LAXATIVES!
EVRYN
How do YOU
know?
SERLEINA
BECAUSE I
PUT THEM IN THERE, OF COURSE!
EVRYN
Then why
would you tell him NOT to eat them?
SERLEINA
Schmuck
bait.
SIGYN
Also because
if she tells him not to eat them, then she's not liable for--
SERLEINA
SHUT UP, NO
ONE CARES.
MARIE
I care.
SERLEINA
...
LENA
Holy fuck,
do that again.
SERLEINA
Shut up,
you.
AHRRY
FINE! YOU'RE
SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!
FRED
I'm the
Lighting Guy!
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