CAST NOTES
Illybrius is
wearing a vest.
12 November
08, pm 07.00 - In Which Illybrius is Interrupted a Lot, part 2
7:00 PM
USAGI
You don't—
have to— say— anything! I— I can— feel!
FERRIN
As much as I
would love to… entertain you right now… I am afraid business must come before
pleasure. You understand, right?
MARIE
No, I do not
understand! You have not been acting in a way that makes sense!
FREDRIKA
This really
takes me back.
NATE
… you weren’t
joking about stealing a muzzle from a mental patient?
TRINIAN, 😀
She sure
wasn’t!
USAGI
Of course.
I'm disappointed, but I understand.
[enter
ILLYBRIUS]
ILLYBRIUS
Usagi, my
dear. Good to see you've kept Mr. Ferrin entertained.
FERRIN
Is your
housemate done with his errand yet? I'm afraid I've quite worn out my orion.
MARIE
No you
haven’t.
EVRYN
He literally
just came in the fucking door.
USAGI
Ah. Glad to
see you have returned. A little warning would be nice next time.
SERLEINA
I YELLED
"DING DONG"! WHAT MORE WARNING DO YOU WANT?
ILLYBRIUS
I just
returned, actually. I hope you don't mind that some of these pieces are a bit
larger than quarters.
FERRIN
No. They
will do perfectly. I thank you.
EPIPHANY
[You can
tell how little Corri cares about this transaction because he did not even inspect
them. Those could be the shittiest rubies of all time.]
ILLYBRIUS
Oh, yeah.
They’re all glass.
Do you have
anything to add or may I have mi dolciumi back?
FERRIN
Yes. I have
the first part of the payment. Now I need the second.
EPIPHANY
[You never
said anything about first or second. You just wanted rubies.]
FREDRIKA
Has anyone
here read “His First, His Second” by A. D. Davies? It’s such an amazing
book—
OVD
And an
anachronism.
ILLYBRIUS
Very well,
what is the second?
FERRIN
A few
moments ago, I met the most interesting young lady.
ILLYBRIUS
Please
enlighten me. I've been away.
FERRIN
Fennel
Kogulo is her name. She said she was the daughter of the Breeder.
EVRYN
That title
is really fucking irritating.
FERRIN
I want her.
EVRYN
Dude, she's
like… 17.
ILLYBRIUS
I'll have to
convene with her caretakers. This will take another moment.
NATE
Or you could
say you never agreed to a second part.
EPIPHANY
[How stupid
are you? This is not how anyone in charge of anything should negotiate.]
EVRYN
I hope they
say "Fuck no!"
ILLYBRIUS
Usagi will
entertain you.
FERRIN
Good, my
orion is down for the count.
EVRYN
Hearing
what's supposed to be an ancient demon use slang like that reminds me
uncomfortably of the Fate/Stay Night anime subs and dub.
[exit
ILLYBRIUS]
USAGI
So, how can
I entertain you till my housemate gets back?
FERRIN
Well… What
are you willing to do for me?
EVRYN
I think he
can juggle!
USAGI
I don't know
much, you see, I'm practically a virgin—
[CUE
LAUGHTER]
USAGI
But I would
be willing to do what you asked of me.
FERRIN
How about…
can you dance?
USAGI
Yes.
FERRIN
Dance for
me, then.
(Maybe put
in a video of Rin as Usagi dancing, if we can get an adequate Usagi wig)
[enter
FENNEL]
FENNEL
Um, Mr.
Ferrin?
FERRIN
Yes, my
Lady?
FENNEL
My sitter
said you wanted me.
FERRIN
How would
you like… to stay with me for a while?
SIGYN
HO DON'T DO
IT!
FENNEL
Will you be
nicer to me than my daddy and my brother?
FERRIN
Hmmm… I
think I will…. Can you tell me where your Daddy is right now?
EVRYN
The one who
contributed to her birth or the one she found on OkCupid?
FENNEL
I don't
know. He said something to my sitter and left. He didn't say where he was
going.
FERRIN
Can you tell
me who he was last with, then, my precious child?
EVRYN
OH MY GODS,
CAN YOU NOT.
FENNEL
My brother.
SIGYN
Wait, you
have a brother?
EVRYN
I assume she
means Enon.
FERRIN
Can you tell
your Daddy I would like to talk to him?
FENNEL
No. He
doesn't want to talk to me! I tried to talk to him and he said not now. He
never has time for me.
SIGYN
Good gods,
you're going to end up stripping, just like your mum.
FERRIN
Then do you
know where I can find a girl with violet eyes and black hair?
FENNEL
Sure do!
There are lots of girls like that in Esme Village.
FERRIN
This girl…
she also has a strange tattoo on her lower back. A pain of wings—
EVRYN
A what?
FERRIN
—with a
black and white circle. Is this the same girl you know?
EVRYN
Ferrin,
how's your listening comprehension?
FENNEL
Like I said,
there are lots of girls like that in Esme Village. I don't know if any of them
have tattoos because they're usually covered up really well. At least around
me. Everyone hides from me.
EVRYN
Why would
they hide from you? You're the Crown Princess. They should be kissing your
arse.
FERRIN
Pity. I
don't see why. You're so sweet.
EVRYN
ughhhh
FERRIN
Now this
girl… she can turn into a black and red tiger… Think you know her now?
FENNEL
I might.
Most of Esme and Elce girls can do that.
FERRIN
If I told
you her name, would you know her then?
FENNEL
Maybe, but
I'm no good with names.
EVRYN
That's why
they have archivists and census-takers.
FENNEL
I'm sorry I
can't be more helpful, Ferrin.
FERRIN
It's fine.
But still, if you ever meet Ms. Enzeru—
EVRYN
Wouldn't
that be "Princess Enzeru"?
FERRIN
—tell her my
boon is still open.
FENNEL
Okay, I
will! Can I still stay with you?
FERRIN
Maybe.
EVRYN
What the
fuck is this "maybe" bullshit? You promised!
FERRIN
I must talk
with Mr… Illybrius one more time. You run along and play and maybe I'll see you
in a few minutes, okay?
FENNEL
Okay!
[exit
FENNEL]
MARIE,
cheerfully
Well, that
could have gone worse!
USAGI
Lord
Illybrius will be with you in a moment.
FERRIN
Good.
[enter
ILLYBRIUS]
ILLYBRIUS
Hello again.
FERRIN
I have
decided that I want the blood rubies and one other thing.
EPIPHANY,
Santa Claus Scowl
[NO!]
[You’ve
already had the “blood rubies” and another thing.]
[You don’t
get another, other thing.]
ILLYBRIUS
What else
can you want, someone of your standing?
FERRIN
It seems
that you know the Breeder.
TRINIAN
Let me see
your zapper.
TRINIAN
recalibrates Epiphany's zapper and hands it back to Epiphany.
EPIPHANY
zaps Ferrin.
FERRIN
And even
better, his daughter. This is something else.
ILLYBRIUS
I do, but we
aren't on good terms.
FERRIN
Still… You
must be the other one he talk about that was like himself.
ILLYBRIUS
I'm the only
other maharus. Usagi was going to be my heir once I gave up my position.
EPIPHANY
[Why isn’t
Illybrius demanding Onion back?]
FAUS
Probably got
distracted.
FERRIN
Still… I'll
give you my orion in exchange for the rubies… and one night with you in my bed.
EVRYN
I'm not
following your unlogic here.
ILLYBRIUS
Very well.
FERRIN
Would now be
good?
ILLYBRIUS
Yes, but
please give mi dolciumi to Usagi first.
FERRIN
Forgive me
for that. It seems that your slave demands that I not do it.
LENA
Can you stop
referring to Onion as a slave? It's annoying enough when you do it in your
fantasy demon language, but in English it's intolerable.
MARIE
I agree with
Lena. This is freaking obnoxious!
FERRIN
He's now
locked in the next room screaming for you.
ILLYBRIUS
He demands
that you not do what? I shall have to punish him later.
FERRIN
He needs
more training.
ILLYBRIUS
I know, and
I shall most definitely train him better.
EVRYN
Dude, why
are you sucking up to this douchebag?
SIGYN
For the
privilege of sucking off that douchebag, why else?
FREDRIKA
I mean—
MARIE
Illybrius,
you’re a demigod. Why aren’t you demi-smiting this asshole?
FAUS
Probably got
distracted. I’ll happily smite him for you!
OVD
You’ll
happily wait until the end of this episode.
FAUS
I’ll wait
till the end of this episode, but I won’t be happy about it.
AHRRY
I regret
selling the RoastGod 3000 after that episode with Dante.
TOKIOMI
Those were
some delicious poptarts, though!
AHRRY
Oh, oh, I
see how it is! You’re fine with me selling the flamethrower, but not your car!
I see where I stand!
FERRIN
Now… How
would you like to do this?
ILLYBRIUS
May I be
absolutely blunt?
FERRIN
Of course. I
would expect nothing less.
EVRYN
Tell him you
hate his guts and junk-punch him, then run away.
OVD
Wait until
the end of the episode.
FAUS
And please
take a number!
ILLYBRIUS
I want you
to ride me till my legs buckle and I'm delirious with pleasure and pain. I want
you to fuck me until we're both completely spent. I want to suck you dry.
SIGYN
Or copy me,
that's cool.
FERRIN
Hmm…
Inresting.
EVRYN
The fuck?
FERRIN
Since you
want it so bad…
ILLYBRIUS
To be
truthful, Usagi has kept me on edge all day. We're both aroused enough to
burst.
FERRIN
I only want
you. For now, anyway.
EVRYN
Oi,
Audience, you getting flashbacks?
SIGYN
What?
EVRYN
What?
ILLYBRIUS
I'm honored.
FERRIN
You should
be. Not many catch my eye.
[LIGHTS OUT]
WT
Illybrius
closes eyes and moans softly, delighted.
FERRIN
You would be
a wonderful orion if you let me train you.
ILLYBRIUS
You'd be a
good trainer, Maitre Ferrin.
FERRIN
Thank you.
Now, the first thing we would need to do is get you out of those clothes.
WT
Illybrius
unbuttons his vest and throws it to the floor.
FERRIN
Very nice
build. Compact, but that means you can handle a lot of pain and pleasure.
EVRYN
Excuse my
squirrelly virginity, but that doesn't seem to follow.
ILLYBRIUS
I trust you
to test my thresholds.
EVRYN
You're a
rubbish judge of character.
FERRIN
I will be
sure "too". Now the pants.
ILLYBRIUS
Oui, Maitre
Ferrin.
WT
Illybrius
drops his pants easily, steps out, and kicks them aside.
FERRIN
Very nice.
You're what… Ten inches?
ILLYBRIUS
Ten and a
half.
FERRIN
Perfect.
WT
Illybrius is
throbbing hard.
FERRIN
You don't
find many males with your size anymore.
SIGYN
Where the
hell are YOU looking?
FERRIN
You
"truely" are a gift.
WT
Illybrius
moans in anticipation
FERRIN
Hmmm… Let me
see you on your hands and knees.
ILLYBRIUS
Of course.
WT
Illybrius
positions himself.
FERRIN
Stay like
that. Seems I have a visitor. Be back soon.
FAUS
No you
won’t!
FAUS used
SMITE.
IT’S SUPER
EFFECTIVE!
ILLYBRIUS
used JUNK PUNCH!
It’s not
very effective…
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