Thursday, November 13, 2008

Ep. 116. Orion's Pregnant! part 3

 TITLE

Orion's Pregnant! Part 3

 

Thursday, November 13, 2008, pm 9:00

 

USAGI

Yeah, I definitely can't live with him for four months, him being like this.

 

ORION

I should have been more careful.

 

USAGI

Yeah, but what's done is done

 

SIGYN

🎵And there's somebody for everyone🎵

 

ORION

Then if you want this child gone, order me.

 

USAGI

I just told you. Get rid of it.

 

ORION

You have to make it an order.

 

EVRYN

THAT WAS AN IMPERATIVE STATEMENT, YOU STUPID OAF.

 

MARIE

In some Omegaverse settings, there is something called an “Alpha command” that forces non-Alphas to obey them. I think that’s what Corri’s trying to demand, but since she didn’t fucking explain any of that… Please pardon me while I seethe.

 

FREDDIE

This show is so stupid.

 

EVRYN

Says the tabloid reporter.

 

FREDDIE

Exactly.

 

USAGI

Fine. I order you to get rid of it and damn, does this feel uncomfortable.

 

ORION

I'll be right back. This won't take long. Can you… explain things to Illybrius. I don't think he'll want to talk to me now.

 

USAGI 

No, he's pissed because one of his boyfriends hung up on him.

 

ORION

Wait here. I'll be right back. We need to talk.

 

[enter CINNAMON]

 

CIN

I'm back. Where's Lee?

 

ILLYBRIUS

……

 

ORION

I'm sorry about that. It was because of the child. It won't happen again now.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I don't care.

 

NATHANIEL

It shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

 

MARIE

Well, yeah, because in a normal roleplaying relationship, you would have negotiated all these things beforehand.

 

ORION

Let me make it up to you, please?

 

ILLYBRIUS

Just keep the spell from wearing out again.

 

ORION

Yes… My Master.

 

EVRYN

And we’re back to the normal disgusting fail!

 

FAUSTUS

Praise Potaten. He’s my new god. He’s a potato.

 

ORION gets down on his hands and knees in front of Illybrius.

ILLYBRIUS kneels and hugs Orion

 

ILLYBRIUS

Ori, I'm sorry, I was upset over something else. I shouldn't have taken it out on you.

 

ORION

Illybrius… It's what I need. I enjoy it. Please.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Alright.

 

ORION

Thank you, Kio.

 

ILLYBRIUS

What is it that you want?

 

ORION

Whatever you crave to give to me, my Master.

 

TOD

Give him a Jag and a ticket to the opera, and tell him to enjoy his vacation.

 

SERENA

Please don’t give him a Jag. I don’t want him to have any more in common with me than absolutely necessary.

 

SIGYN

Give him a tranq and put him to bed.

 

DÉSMODA

Please don’t give him that, either. I don’t want him to have any more in common with my Basement Boys than absolutely necessary.

 

NATHANIEL

… um, you don’t want him locked in a basement and forced to perform for you?

 

DÉSMODA

No, because he’d enjoy it too much, and I prefer when he’s suffering.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I'm going to bed.

 

EPIPHANY

[Even Illybrius is done with this shit.]

 

ORION

Your orders, Master?

 

ILLYBRIUS

I-I'm sorry. Maybe a little later, but I just need to be held.

 

ORION

*sigh* Come here.

 

ILLYBRIUS cuddles up to Orion

ORION holds Illybrius close

ILLYBRIUS nestles into Orion

 

ILLYBRIUS

I'm sorry for being so weak.

 

ORION

You aren't weak.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I wish I were stronger. I never used to break down like this.

 

TOD

I believe that may be the Corri-itus. Ah, that’s when you’re around someone so toxic for so long that it degrades your personality into that of a nervous wreck. I’m calling it Corri-itus because otherwise it would be anachronistic and I’m told we’re to avoid those.

 

SERLEINA

Yeah, we’re supposed to avoid anachronisms, but nobody really cares enough to.

 

ORION

We all break sometimes, Kio.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I'll rephrase: I never used to break down in front of others.

Rubéhaus hung up on me because his family told him to. He's pussy-whipped. They need only say "Jump" and he-- I'm sorry. I'm bitter because he didn't even tell me why, after I asked.

 

ORION

You are a strong person. I never would have come after you if you weren't. Because you break down, it lets us know that, yes… You are alive like the rest of us, Kio.

 

EPIPHANY

[Translation: “Stop having feelings, oh my GOSH!”]

[Also, EXCUSE!?]

 

ORION

Oh, you’re excused.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I do not want to be like everybody else. I used to be strong.

 

ORION

You are strong.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Ori… everybody's so different from when I met them. I am different from when I first came here.

 

ORION

This place changes people. Most of the time for the better.

 

MARIE

DOUBT!

 

TOD

Si, Senor.

 

ILLYBRIUS

No… it's not that.

 

ORION

Then tell me, Pet.

 

EPIPHANY zaps Orion

 

ILLYBRIUS

It's transcendent of words.

 

ORION

In that case, Pet--

 

EPIPHANY zaps Orion

 

ORION

--let me ease your pain. Let me be your comfort for now.

 

TOD

You are quite literally the opposite of comforting.

 

ILLYBRIUS

When I first fell in love with you, you broke my heart every day.

 

SIGYN

I know that feeling.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I'm glad you're not so cruel anymore, but it seems sometimes almost as though you've… lost something. You've changed drastically. It's merely odd.

 

ORION

I gave up part of my demon side for you. That's why. Usagi made me see that I was slowly killing you. So I gave it up.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Usagi made you see? How?

 

ORION

It's hard to explain.

 

ILLYBRIUS

When I told you I loved you, I hadn't meant to say anything.

It slipped out, and when you said I didn't need to love you…

Of course, I hadn't been expecting you to say that you loved me, but something happened.

 

ORION

I… When you said you loved me, I thought you were just saying it, but when I broke your heart, I realized I had a chance at love and I took it.

When I kept hurting you… Usagi said I was going to end up killing you, and that was when I realized I needed to do something.

But if you want me to go back to the "wat" I was… I can go get what I need.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I never tell anybody I love them unless I mean it. Of course, it's not always the kind of love they think I mean.

 

SIGYN

Big mood.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I was merely curious, my Ori.

 

ORION

If you want me the way I was… please tell me now.

 

ILLYBRIUS

No. I don't like the idea of influencing people to change to suit me. I will love you no matter how you are. I just want your happiness and the happiness of the others I love.

 

ORION

But I did. I changed so as not to hurt you.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I know.

 

ORION

I… want to be… anything you need me to be for you. I want to be your friend, your lover, your slave.

 

LENA

Can you not?

 

STRAWBERRY

Can you yes?

 

ORION

Will you let me do that?

 

ILLYBRIUS

I will let you be my friend and lover.

 

ORION

Slave in the bed, please?

 

ILLYBRIUS

We'll switch every now and then.

 

ORION

Deal. Are you better now, Pet?

 

EPIPHANY zaps Orion

 

ILLYBRIUS

*purrs*

 

ORION

Good.

 

ORION kisses Illybrius.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I love my Ori.

 

EVRYN takes a shot

 

ORION

Lri erik ben yut.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I'll assume that's something good.

 

ORION

I love you too.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Call me yours?

 

ORION

Jinv.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Uh… Never mind.

 

ORION

Jinv. Mine.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I know, but I'd meant something different. It's not important.

 

ORION

Tell me.

 

ORION kisses Illybrius.

 

ILLYBRIUS

It's not important.

 

ORION

Please?

 

ILLYBRIUS nuzzles Orion

 

ORION

*sigh* You win this time.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I was getting ready to, actually. It's just difficult for me to find words.

 

ORION

Sorry. I have little patience.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I know. So do I. I said, "I love my Ori," and I… meant for you to respond in kind.

 

ILLYBRIUS blushes

It's silly.

 

ORION

I did. I… did it again. Damn it. I said, "I love my Pet" in Dark Glyphs.

 

EPIPHANY zaps Orion

 

ORION

Sorry.

 

ORION kisses Illybrius

ILLYBRIUS kisses back and nuzzles Orion again

 

ORION

At least you're better. I'm happy now.

 

ILLYBRIUS

I am, too. I'm still mildly upset that Rubéhaus hung up on me at his grandmother's whim.

 

ORION

Corri said he did the same to her.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Corri isn't his boyfriend.

 

ORION

No. I know that. They… are more kindred souls than siblings.

 

SERENA

That is probably the least helpful thing you could have said just then.

 

ILLYBRIUS

Don't ever say that in front of Cinnamon, mind you. She's more territorial than I am.

 

ORION

Yes, sir. Ow…

 

ILLYBRIUS

Are you alright?

 

EVRYN

Yes, he's just causing drama because you "scolded" him.

 

TOD

That’s why this feels familiar.

 

ORION

I will be. I just need to… my body has a habit to bleed after aborting.

 

EVRYN

That's literally everyone. You're not special.

 

SIGYN

I know, right?

 

ORION

It's normal. I just don't like the feeling.

 

SIGYN

Who does?

 

ILLYBRIUS

Poor thing.

 

ORION

I'm used to it.

 

SIGYN

You're USED TO sparkly miscarriages.

 

EVRYN

He's an Enzeru. Why are you surprised?

 

SIGYN

I neither know, nor desire to know, where he's bleeding from.

 

EVRYN

Probably his arse.

 

SIGYN

I’m sorry, is there a part of “I don’t want to know” that’s confusing to you?

 

EVRYN

… Apology accepted!

 

CIN

Lee, don't bother. I heard. I’m leaving him. He knows better. He knows not to just leave without saying why, and he ought to know by now not to act like his family's doormat. If he can't do that, he's not strong enough for me. Besides that, I cannot stand the thought of him being anyone else's soulmate.

 

ORION

I didn't say anything about a soulmate. Corri already has hers.

 

CIN

Kindred soul, soulmate, it means the same to me.

 

ORION

Then learn to listen.

 

(BRRRRRRIIIIIING!)

 

CIN

I need someone who-- someone like-- That isn't what I mean.

 

ORION

You are stupid.

 

(BRRRRRRIIIIIING!)

 

FREDDIE

Gee. Tell her how you really feel.

 

CIN

I can listen perfectly.

 

EPIPHANY

[Speaking of not listening, would you pick up your damn phone, Onion?]

 

ONION

I've already been ripped a new one today. Answering the pot would be overkill.

 

AHRRY

DIIIIIIIID SOMEBODY SAY POT?

 

SERLEINA

Oh my god, Ahrry, it's not even that kind of pot!

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