TITLE
After
Orion's Abortion
Thursday,
November 13, 2008, pm 10.00
CIN
I will not
be with anybody who does not need me. He does not. If things fail with me,
he'll get over it. He has his darling sister to help him with that.
SERLEINA
THROW IT IN
THE BIN!
ORION
So much for
wanting to keep your soulmate, then. I've never seen someone willing to do
that.
MARIE
Fuck off,
Onion!
CIN
He's not my
soulmate. He's just some kid they forced me to talk to in eighth grade. We hit
it off by pure luck. If he doesn't need me, he's not my soulmate.
ORION
Then I pity
you. Go. find your "happiness" elsewhere.
EVRYN
What are you
getting so fucking butthurt about?
SIGYN
Probably the
miscarried assbaby.
SERLEINA
O~H~
EPIPHANY
[There's
probably a cream for that.]
SIGYN
Yeah, but
isn't cream in his ass kind of what started the problem in the first place?
EPIPHANY
[Touché.]
CIN
Lee, you
will never know how lucky you are to have Usagi. Orion, I suspect you already
know you're lucky to have someone like Illybrius.
ORION
I got lucky
again.
CIN
Pity the
bloodbag, not me. He will pay.
ILLYBRIUS
Cinnamon,
this isn't like you.
CIN
Maybe it's a
whole new me.
FALCON
Yes, and I
miss her.
ORION
I have claim
over him.
EVRYN
Ew, since
when?
CIN
Onion,
whatever claim you have over my fiancé, or ex-fiancé, it won't keep me from
doing what I like.
ILLYBRIUS
There's
something wrong! Orion, don't!
ORION
I can tell.
ILLYBRIUS
Don't say
anything more. This isn't her. This is someone or something completely
different. She'd never be this cruel.
FREDDIE
scribbles something out
Well, there
goes that hope.
EVRYN
Excuse me,
since when is cutting people who refuse to respect you out of your life
"cruel"?
SIGYN
I thought
she was planning to cut him out by killing him.
EVRYN
Well, since
when is killing humans Illybrius's idea of cruelty?
ORION
Can you
handle this, Kio?
ILLYBRIUS
Oh, Ori, no!
I'm tired of handling everyone else's problems! I just want to be with you for
now and be happy.
ORION
I am asking
because I need to go heal myself.
ERNEST
“I need to
go heal myself” is one of my go-to “I need to go iron my dog’s”
SEBASTIAN
It means
something completely different when I say it.
ILLYBRIUS
Go then. Let
me know when you're back.
ORION
It might
take a while. I… kinda need… to deal with the… afterbirth.
SIGYN
EW! Why did
you not do that much, much sooner?!
EPIPHANY
[Corri
didn't think of it until just now, I guess.]
EVRYN
That doesn't
make sense, since she's claimed to have miscarriages before.
SIGYN
As someone
who's ACTUALLY had a miscarriage before, I'm just gonna continue to decry
Onion's lack of hygiene.
EVRYN
I mean,
abortions are different from miscarriages, but-- hold on, how the fuck did he
abort the baby?
SIGYN
Rusty coat
hanger?
MARIE
I assumed he
aborted it by snapping his fingers, since that’s how he got pregnant in the
first place.
EVRYN
Couldn't he
have taken care of the afterbirth at that point?
SIGYN
Really feels
like he's just looking for an excuse to quit the conversation.
ERNEST
Like I said.
EPIPHANY
[But then
why not "I'm recovering from weird Enjeru biology and need to lie
down"?]
DREPANON
Because he's
allergic to honesty.
MARIE
You would
know!
TRENT
Well, in
that case, why not, “I have to go teach my goldfish to swim”? That always works
for me. And I’m hydrophobic!
ILLYBRIUS
I only have
20 more minutes here.
ORION
I know. Can
I make it up to you tomorrow? Normally I wouldn't do this, but I need to see
that I didn't damage myself.
EVRYN
Which is why
you've been farting around here instead of taking care of your arse. Okay, I
know how that sounds, but I'm sticking with it.
ILLYBRIUS
NORMALLY YOU
WOULD! EVERYBODY FINDS ME SO REPELLANT LATELY. WHAT IF THERE IS NO TOMORROW?
WHAT IF ONE OF US ENDS UP DEAD OR TOO HURT TO SPEAK?
ORION
ONE OF US
DID DIE!
EVRYN
He means
Aksuema.
NATHANIEL]
Nobody cares
about her, right?
XALDIN
[Incorrect.
We also do not care about her.]
ILLYBRIUS
I KNOW! FOR
ONCE, CAN'T IT JUST BE ABOUT THE TWO OF US? Please. I need someone.
ORION
"The
two of us."
STRAWBERRY
You know,
even for Orion—fuck you, OG Commentary, I’m not calling him a plant food name—he’s
being unusually dickish.
FAUSTUS
Maybe he’s
compensating. I hear being an Omega can be emasculating.
[camera
focus on Sayida]
SAYIDA
What?
STRAWBERRY,
under his breath
Please don’t remind me that we have anything in common.
ILLYBRIUS
I'm sorry.
I--oh, no.
ORION
I see.
ILLYBRIUS
I didn't
mean that. I love Akuma. You know that.
ORION
I'm going. I
need to make sure I don't bleed to death and died like she did.
DREPANON
What are you
talking about? She's backstage at the snack table.
MARIE
You know,
parts of this exchange would actually be compelling drama if they were written
from a place of mutual collaboration and respect, instead of as part of a
pattern of abuse towards a vulnerable cowriter.
NATHANIEL
It really
smacks of “You hate my favorite sock puppet so bye.”
FALCON *does
the Lute face from that one cosplay video*
DREPANON
You know
what's more compelling drama than this? Akuma's bogarting the Vienna sausages.
She knows they're my favorite.
OVD
For fuck's
sake Drepanon, just go buy more.
DREPANON
With what
money!? When exactly are you planning on paying us for this, anyway?
EVRYN
You're
right, that is more compelling!
ILLYBRIUS
You don't
love me at all. You never did, did you? Why does everybody lie to me? Why won't
you be with me?
ORION
I do love
you.
EVRYN takes
a shot.
ORION
I never
would have given up what I did if I didn't.
SIGYN
BULLSHIT!
You wanted to cause emotional pain by forcing Usagi to order you to abort your
baby!
MARIE
Onion be
hungry.
DREPANON
Onion, you
are a TERRIBLE person and I am ashamed that you're a denizen of my realm.
ORION
I gave up my
mate—
EVRYN
Wait, when
did you have another living mate?
ORION
--and child
and power for you. Even Usagi's child. ALL FOR YOU! I would never lie to my
mate. And that is what you are.
EPIPHANY
[BULLSHIT]
[You lie all
the time. You’re one of the least honest characters on this entire show.]
ILLYBRIUS
I'm sorry. I
don't know what's happening! I know, I know, perfectly reasonably, you need to
take care of the physical aftermath of the abortion. You're not really leaving
me at all, but I don't understand! I feel as if I might never see you again! I
feel as if you're deserting me. What is this?
STRAWBERRY
Sounds like
BPD to me. My condolences.
DREPANON,
bored
Put yourself
on a 5150 and get out of our hair.
SIGYN
DUDE.
ILLYBRIUS
I feel so
alone. I've not felt this alone in so long.
ORION
I know what
you are feeling.
EPIPHANY
[See? You’re
lying right now to make Illybrius shut up!]
DREPANON
To be fair,
everybody wants Illybrius to shut up.
NATHANIEL
No, we
don’t.
ERNEST
I want to
give Illybrius a hug. He’s in a really bad mental space right now and Orion is
making it worse.
ORION
I felt the same every time Damien went out to
fight.
EPIPHANY
[Did Damien
exist before or did Onion just make him up?]
ILLYBRIUS
I'm sorry,
but that's making me feel worse. Because, it did happen. It could happen again.
NATHANIEL
And he knows
this.
[exit
ORION]
MARIE
He didn’t
even say, “Thanks for the food.”
STRAWBERRY
He never
does.
DRAKE
He'll be
right back. He's in pain. The afterbirth is always the worst for male demons.
ILLYBRIUS
Who the fuck
are you?
DRAKE
Don't talk
to me like that.
EVRYN
That's not
an answer to the question.
ERNEST
Don’t talk
to a god like that!
SEBASTIAN
Point of
interest: He’s actually a demigod.
EVRYN
Point of interest:
No-one CARES.
DRAKE
Not after
what you let happen to my sister.
TRENT
What about
what you let happen to your sister? You’re her brother!
MARIE
You also
haven’t introduced yourself, so Illybrius has no fucking clue who your sister
is.
TRENT
No, but
she’s either Corri or Akuma, and Blake probably would have spoken up—
NATHANIEL
Oh, you mean
the guy who took half an hour to introduce himself when he showed up before?
SIGYN
Oh god,
that's a relief. For a second, I thought he might be Meta.
EVRYN
He could
just say "I'm your brother-in-law, you negligent fuck." Although I'm
actually not sure Akuma "died" due to Illybrius's negligence.
EPIPHANY
[I don't
understand how venting the amniotic fluid would be more painful than all the
other steps in this bullshit process]
ILLYBRIUS
Don't tell
me what to do. I will talk to you, and anybody else, however I like.
DRAKE
Fine, I
don't give a damn.
NATHANIEL
Then why did
you say anything?
ILLYBRIUS
I know. I
don't either.
DRAKE
Good. Then
to let you know… Orion is in pain because you are hurting him.
ILLYBRIUS
How?
DRAKE
He's given
you everything and you still demand more from him.
EPIPHANY
[And that
has to do with the amniotic fluid... how?]
EVRYN
You know,
it's one thing to see a demon sock-puppeting for an angel, but watching an
angel sock-puppet for a demon is really weird.
SIGYN
I blame
Stockholm Syndrome, considering they shared a body for stupid-thousand years.
Yes, I know that’s been debunked; no, I don’t care.
DRAKE
You demand
he stay with you. You don't feed him enough and you won't let him feed from
anyone else. Aren't you sweet?
MARIE
Onion just
ate. And you’re dishing up dessert.
ILLYBRIUS
I don't know
how much to feed him.
EVRYN
Because the
fuckwad never communicates with him.
ILLYBRIUS
Ori, I don't
know how much to feed you. I love you. I want to be yours, and you to be mine.
It hurts when you want to feed from someone else.
[ragequit
DRAKE]
EVRYN
Like I said,
great communication.
ERNEST
To recap,
Illybrius just said he’s insecure and needs affection right now, Orion
responded by saying Illybrius doesn’t care about him and left, and now someone
else is coming in to ask Illybrius why he’s hurting Orion so much.
[+perspective]
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